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Mature Free Single - do you realise how lucky you are?
Having reached the age where I consider myself to be mature free single, or MFS, as I would like to call it, maybe even start a whole new buzz word, a club for MFSers, just like me, I can't think of a better position to be in than mature free single when it comes to looking for a new relationship.
I look back at my earlier days of courting and dating and trying to find a girlfriend, which mostly ended up in frustrating disappointment. The most success I had tended to be when I wasn't really trying to find someone, and hey presto, I would meet someone out of the blue. There were also the (few and far between) moments when I would see someone and we just clicked, as fate meant it to be.
Mature Free Single had only two elements in my make up.
Then as my relationship became more stable and ended in marriage, I learned a few things that I am sure will resonate with many who read this. My dad used to say to me "You don't know yourself until you are at least thirty." I reflect back now and he was spot on, so getting married at twenty two was risky, and so it proved. I didn't really know myself, I didn't see the issues that were building as my relationship began to break down, as we grew apart. Not through anyone's fault, particularly. I just started to revert back to myself again, and look for more that I needed for me.
In the early flush of youthful love, it's only natural to want to please your new partner, by wanting to be together all the time, and maybe losing contact with your friends and hobbies or pastimes. Then after a few years, you revert to your old self, you want to change things and go back to seeing your old friends or taking up favourite hobbies again - that's when the rot sets in. Your partner doesn't like the new you as much, as you look to claim some time back for yourself , and pressure in therelationship starts to build.
The great benefit of being mature free single is that you know yourself, and you more confident not to make compromises that you know you will regret.
So, if you want to watch your favourite sports team, or go out every Friday night with your friends, you set the ground rules early in a relationship - it's what being mature free single is all about. It will make for a better, more honest, more stable relationship, in my humble opinion. The old adage is true - "If I only knew then what I know now". It's what being Mature Free Single is all about - you know it, so stick to what you know, be true to yourself. I think relationships become easier to manage when you are Mature Free Single - there's less hassle, less pressure, and if your partner doesn't like it, then the earlier it gets flushed out the better.
Assume control, exude confidence and stick to what you want for you, being reasonable and not too selfish about it. Confidence to achieve a healthy balance without compromise is the art of a Mature Free Single person.
Come to think of it, I am in a new club for MFSers at MatureFreeSingle.com, which I have found is a great forum to meet new partners near where I live, all mature free single themselves
So how about a definition of someone who is mature free single? Single is easy - not in a serious relationship, or not in one at all. Maybe someone who has friends who are not looking for a steady relationship, just friendship, company, dates and maybe the occasional stayover. Free - someone who is control of their own agenda, their own schedule. It's not driven by the need to work around someone else's work schedule, kids' taxi services or adolescent kids' issues. Then onto mature - well someone who has been there, done it, got the t-shirt. Someone who has maybe been scarred a few times from relationship mistakes, and knows how not to make them again. This is my take on Mature Free Single. Any thoughts?
Comments are very welcome, as I think a Mature Free Single attitude and perspective is a great state of mind to have, and a great viewpoint on life to take.
Mature Free Single is a great place to be, sometimes the route to becoming mature free single is painful and if you have had any experiences like me on the way, there are some dark moments on the path to becoming mature free single. I sometimes wondered whether I would ever come out the other side, but I did and I am in a better place now that I am Mature Free Single.
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The great benefit of being mature free single is that you know yourself, and you more confident not to make compromises that you know you will regret. So, if you want to watch your favourite sports team, or go out every Friday night with your friends, you set the ground rules early in a relationship - it's what being mature free single is all about. It will make for a better, more honest, more stable relationship, in my humble opinion. The old adage is true - "If I only knew then what I know now". It's what being Mature Free Single is all about - you know it, so stick to what you know, be true to yourself. I think relationships become easier to manage when you are Mature Free Single - there's less hassle, less pressure, and if your partner doesn't like it, then the earlier it gets flushed out the better.
If you are looking for some first date tips and advice, check out this site Flirt Impressions, which has a section on First Date Tips, with articles on subjects such as first date advice, covering how to plan your first date and conversation ideas.
While everyone has different ideas about what they want on a date as well as in a relationship, there are a few signs that can show you whether or not a particular man is a “keeper.” They’re not very hard to spot either. To begin with, pay close attention to this man’s choice of dating venue.
The place should be public, conservative, and casual. However, if this man seemed to have put no thought whatsoever into the location of your very first date together, either he’s not very imaginative or you just don’t matter that much to him. Completing the date will probably cue you in on which it is and then you can make your decision from there.
Confidence is something that everyone needs but a man who can make decisions and not second guess himself constantly is certainly preferable to a man who leaves everything up to you. At least that’s true in most cases unless you like to be the one always running the show. If you don’t mind a man who has little to no confidence, at least you won’t be going into this blind.
Pay attention to those little things. Does he walk ahead of you a few feet almost like he’s not with you when you’re in public? When you go out to eat, does he just order for you without asking what you want first? Does he leer at you when having a conversation? None of these things point to a promising relationship unless you enjoy being controlled and ogled all the time.
Everyone knows how important communication is in a relationship. However, if his idea of communicating is talking only about himself and never listening to anything you have to say, you may want to move on. He MIGHT be trying to impress you but chances are he really is just more interested in himself than he is in you.
Courtesy is something else that’s important when dating. If you’re dating a guy who pulls out your chair for you, opens doors for you, and more, that’s wonderful. However, how does he treat others in front of you? Does he yell abusively at the waiters? Is he constantly saying awful things about his ex? Does he say ugly things about his friends as soon as they’re out of hearing range?
Is he nasty about YOUR friends when they’re not around? All of these things will let you know just what you may expect from him eventually. Men who need to show off their manliness by mistreating others aren’t really men at all.
When you look at all of these things either separately or collectively, you will know just what sort of man you seem to have landed.
Only you can decide whether he’s worth it to you or not, and if your first date will go to a second one and beyond.
Did you finally ask that girl you have been eyeing out on a date? If so, are you ready for the big night? Whether you are nervous or excited, please continue reading on for a few helpful planning tips. These dating tips, when followed, will help to ensure both you and your date have a good time.
Good first date equals you must do something that is fun.
Does your date hate crowded locations and loud music? If so, she may not like a bar or a concert. So, opt for something else. If you just met her, you may be unaware of her likes and dislikes. If that is the case, ask. Or, offer a suggestion, but give her the option of changing it.
Offer to pick her up for your first date.
The only exception to this would be if you met a woman online. She may feel uncomfortable providing you with her home address, so don’t pressure her. Meet her at the movie theater, bar, or restaurant. But, if you already know where your date lives, always offer to pick her up.
Arrive on time.
When it comes to first dates, being late is unacceptable. It should not happen. If you want to wow and impress a girl, be on time. A late arriver implies that the date may not be important. A woman doesn’t want to feel like she is second best. Start getting dressed and leave early to avoid being late.
Whether you are meeting this woman for the first time or if you already know her, she will give you the once look over. She is doing this to see how presentable you are. You do not want to over-dress, but never under-dress. Always show up for a date with a nice hairstyle and clean clothes.
Ask questions, but not too many.
First dates are designed to get to know the other person. To do so, you need to ask questions. Good conversation topics include work, family, and pets. When asking questions, don’t get too personal. With a high rate of divorce in the country, you may want to ask your date about her siblings, but not her parents. Also, don’t sound like you are interviewing her. Incorporate questions naturally into the conversation, not one right after another.
Don’t press your views on her.
It is common for conversation awkwardness on a first date. This is when neither of you know what to say. If you reach this point, you may turn to news stories. What is happening in the world will lead to conversation, but it can take a bad turn. Does your date not agree with you on politics, crime, and so forth? If so, that is fine, but don’t press your views on her or turn your first date into a debate. This is one of the fastest ways to ruin a good first date.
Always listen to your date.
Since first dates are awkward and you are likely nervous, your mind may slip away. This is okay, but be on your toes. Always listen to what your date has to say. Don’t ask the same questions again. If you don’t listen to your woman on the first date, she will assume the entire relationship will be like that. Remember, your goal is to score a second date, not leave her unimpressed.
Don’t be afraid of a change of scenery.
Is the movie boring or the restaurant too full? Don’t assume you have to stay. Ask your date if she would like to leave and go elsewhere. Let her suggest the new destination. If you like the woman, but aren’t have a good time, change the scenery.
Most importantly, ask her to do it again.
Whether the date was fun or not, if you like the woman, ask her out again. This is the perfect way to end a good first date.
How to Save a First Date Disaster
It is very rare for a first date to turn out perfect. In fact, you should anticipate a few moments of awkwardness. This may be quiet pauses in conversations or slightly embarrassing moments. Although it is rare to have a 100% perfect date, there is a difference between an imperfect date and a disaster. As you can gather, disasters are much worse, but they are still salvageable.
The Scenario: You made a date with a woman you met online, but she isn’t anything like she described.
What to do: There is nothing worse than being lied to. Unfortunately, it does happen with online dating. Some of the women who lie on dating services believe you like their personality so much that you won’t care what they look like or that they fibbed. If it bothers you, end the date now. The woman will be upset, but just let her know you don’t appreciate dishonesty. Make that the reason for ending the date, not her appearance. If you still want to salvage it, have a good time. Let lose and have fun. Just don’t ask for a second date at the end of the night.
The Scenario: You pickup your date for dinner, but your car breaks down on the way.
What to do: Being stranded with your date may seem like the end of the world, but it isn’t. In fact, it can work to your advantage. If you have to call the AA or call a tow truck, you have plenty of time to get to know her. If the car repair is something you can fix, such as a flat tire, your take-charge attitude may impress her. Apologize once for the delay and do so again at the end of the date, but let it go. If you don’t make it an issue, your date shouldn’t either.
The Scenario: You or your date gets upset when the restaurant messes up your order.
What to do: First, don’t panic or freak out. It is common to express anger and frustration when something is wrong, but don’t let it ruin your date. If you do not like the dish served to you, ask your waiter for a replacement. When doing so, be calm, do not raise your voice, or play the blame game. Women don’t want to date men with tempers. In the event you find yourself yelling at your waiter, stop immediately. Issue a sincere apology to both the waiter and your date. If you want to salvage this date, an apology is a must.
The Scenario: You take a woman to a bar, but run into your ex-girlfriend.
What to do: This scenario will not result in disaster unless you let it. If you see an ex-girlfriend on your current date, don’t avoid her, but don’t approach her either. If she walks up and says hello, greet her back, but focus all of your attention on your current date. If your date asks who she is, don’t lie, but don’t divulge too much information. If your date is upset about her presence, suggest a change of scenery.
The above mentioned scenarios are just a few instances in which a good first date can take a bad turn. No matter what problem you face, there is always a way to salvage the date if you want. Put a smile on your face and have a positive attitude. She will take notice.
Dating - Is there any single person out there who does not need good dating advice? I don’t think so; if they did not need good dating tips, they would not still be single. So if you have been searching for the love of your life for a long time now, and you always seem to fall flat on your face when it comes to dating, you should remember to heed this dating advice.
The three most important tips to successful dating are:
Relax. I know it easier said than done sometimes, but really, you simply must try to relax. When you get all uptight, it shows. You will probably drop your fork, trip over your shoelace, stutter or ramble on and on about nothing, or say something really stupid like, “You are not as fat as my friend said you were.” Tension is bad. Relaxation is good.
Live in the moment. I know that many folks out there in the dating world would like nothing better than to find their future husband or wife on a date and get to say goodbye to the dating scene forever. But immediately looking for the spouse-potential in every date means you are not focused on the here-and-now; all you are concentrating on is the future.,/p>
When you do that, you lose the joy of the present, and really, getting to know other people and enjoying time with them should be just as important as finding your true love. You will be more interesting to the other person and you will have more fun if you learn to focus on the moment.
Be yourself. I know you have spent your whole life being yourself, and so far it has not gotten you the person you want. Some of you probably put yourself on your best behavior mode or pretend to have interests that you really don’t have just because the other person has those interests. Trust me, this is never a good idea. If the date becomes a relationship, she is bound to find out that you never really read War and Peace. And she is bound to find out that you don’t really love to crochet baby blankets in your spare time.
So, whether you are finding your dates by visiting the singles’ bars, waiting for friends to introduce you, or joining one of the awesome new online dating sites, it is so important that you remember the above dating advice. These three most important tips will take you far and improve your dating life tremendously.
The experience of dating someone after your marriage has ended in a divorce may be uncomfortable in the beginning. But you should not feel so intimidated by this.
Trying things which are unknown always scares or discomforts anyone but this does not mean that you should run away from it. The thought of dating someone can be really nerve=wracking to those people who have suffered a setback in their relationship recently.
With practice and patience, your confidence towards dating will grow again.
Prepare: Preparing yourself mentally is the first thing which should be done when you are considering allowing new people to enter your life and expanding your social circles. Talk to your your single friends to get some dating pointers, learn from their experiences.
As they will have have been actively meeting or dating people, they can provide you with some guidance and advice as you start out. Consider their opinions about current dating rules, and what is the best form of etiquette in certain situations. Don't feel embarrassed about asking these questions. After all, some of your friends will have been through what you are setting out to do, and your friends will rally round.
Always think positively about yourself. Never overly criticize yourself and feel confident about you and what you have to offer. Don’t feel uncomfortable due to issues like weight, mental or physical scars; nobody in this world is perfect.
Instead of mulling about your shortcomings, focusing instead on your positive aspects. You can always deal with other problems as they arise. When looking for a partner, just focus on dating. Take each situation one by one, instead of getting overwhelmed by considering the bigger picture, so that it becomes easy to manage each small step.
Be Appropriate: Start feeling good about yourself by buying some new and appealing outfits. Instead of having a mindset of shopping for those things which others like, always prefer buying only those things which you are comfortable with.
Don't pretend to be someone else by wearing the kinds of clothes which you are not comfortable with.
Wear something which is stylish, yet suits your age and personality.
Don't wear heels if you are not comfortable wearing them for saving yourself from the embarrassment due to tumbling over.